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[30 Jan 2010|01:08am] |
I find myself thinking that it would be a good idea to document my thoughts and actions during the upcoming months - the issue with that being that I am devoid of interesting talking points.
As a result I've decided to attempt to use this application as a dream journal of sorts.
My days of late are spent lifting weights, running, working for pennies an hour, and generally wasting time.
My dreams however; make absolutely zero sense.
The past few days I've dreamed of movie stars. I'm unclear whether I am seeing things through their eyes or running along side them, but they're there, I'm sure of that.
The first was of George Clooney - I (George) am running from a woman's jealous husband/boyfriend. He has a gun. He is firing wildly at me as I run through a neighborhood midday. I make a sharp turn and he shoots me in the arm - I falter - he shoots me in the leg. And then again in the arm. And once more in the leg. He closes in, we look at each other, smile and laugh.
The next I remember is of Will Smith. I (Will) am in a familiar, yet altered, hotel. I am leading a small group of survivors to "safety". Behind us; a sea of zombies. I lead the group to the stairs and we climb countless floors. People begin to break off from the group citing that they choose to take the elevator. I insist that the stairs are the safest route - the do not listen. I watch through the glass elevator shaft as they lock themselves into the compartment with zombies and are devoured. Soon I am the only one left and I am nearing the top floor. I enter a door at the top of the stairs only to find myself back on the first floor, surrounded by undead. I realize I am dreaming and the only way I will be able to wake up is if I am bitten. I try to focus and make it happen in some dignified way. I walk through the crowd of ghouls, antagonizing them, but none of them will attack me. I forget I am dreaming. A young woman grabs my leg and chews through my foot. Another tears into my neck.
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[13 Jan 2010|05:29pm] |
I figure this is a fairly decent time to post an entry - maybe my last entry for some time to come.
I turned 22 yesterday. As I expected, I merely feel older. Didn't do anything outside of go to lunch with Brandi.
A brief overview of 2009:
Sallie Mae canceled my loans without warning a few days before my classes started for spring quarter. I attempted to find new loans but I wasn't able to find a co-signer and tuition was far to expensive to pay on any wage I'd be earning - so I dropped out of the Art Institute.
( 2009 continued )
It was supposed to be a short note about my year for posterity, but it turned into a long-winded narrative of my Navy enlistment. Hm.
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[23 Nov 2009|03:01pm] |
I had a dream.
I watched a fish with monstrous fangs attack an eel. The eel fought back, sinking its fangs into the fish, but the fish didn't flinch.
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[16 Aug 2009|08:33am] |
I dreamed last night about drowning kittens.
The kittens' mother had had died and the body had been placed in a basket and set afloat down a river.
The kittens would not let her go and jumped into the river to follow her. I was distracted and didn't notice them fall into the water - but when I looked at them, they had died but a few feet from the river bank.
I scooped them up and resuscitated them one by one - someone beside me tried and failed to help - and placed them back on dry land. As I saved the last kitten I turned my back and the kittens reentered the water - swimming further before drowning and being saved.
The cycle continued until my ventures to rescue became mile-long trips through murky, alligator-infested waters.
Eventually I rounded all of the kittens up, took them inside, and locked myself in a room with them. The kittens continued to looked for a way to get back to the river.
I said, "If you go back to the river, I will not be able to save you."
The kittens said, "You told us that if we had the choice, we could go."
And I woke up.
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[22 Jun 2009|08:14am] |
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"Picture a mind. Alright. Now, flay that shit."
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[07 May 2009|11:58am] |
Push ups, push ups, push ups, jogging, and more push ups.
Update complete.
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[21 Apr 2009|02:34am] |
United States Air Force.
And glasses.
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| Vroom Vroom Party Starter! |
[24 Mar 2009|04:56pm] |
And by some grace, Lulu is up and running again!
Who wants a ride and is not too partial to living?
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[23 Mar 2009|07:47pm] |
I feel so unproductive and disconnected.
So unmotivated that it burns me inside.
I want to talk to someone, but I have nothing to say.
I miss everyone.
So, as I've done everyday for the past month, I lock myself away and work; push, and thrust, and lift, and strain. Until I can see nothing but sweat. Until I have nothing left to give.
Then I'll lean against my shower wall. I'll hear a song. I'll come back to life.
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[20 Mar 2009|02:42pm] |
And now I have a new journal.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) kiegerthis
I'll be switching between the two for a bit, but I plan on deleting this one sometime soon.
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| New Journal...? |
[20 Mar 2009|08:35am] |
I'm thinking about either renaming this journal or creating a new one under one of more "known" names:
Kieger.
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[18 Mar 2009|10:01pm] |
This is something that goes through my head every time I pick up a pencil:
"...That's the moment of terror for an artist really. It's not about drawing or painting. Everyone can get to this level - where they can draw or paint like this - Just put in the miles on paper and you'll get there.
The moment of terror is when you really can paint and draw and you have to say something to the world and you reach inside, and discover that there's nothing to say. You discover that it's ugly or boring, or all kinds of different things.
That's when you are truly tested as an artist and you reach inside and show it anywhere or you decide to copy someone else and will always be a copier."
---Ian McCaig.
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[13 Mar 2009|12:22am] |
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Waiting to swim.
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| Spring Break |
[12 Mar 2009|12:28pm] |
One week of classes left and I've let my work pile up.
By next week I must:
1.Have a complete 3d modeling of a Supermarine Spitfire, complete with UV unwrapping, complete texture
mappping, and 3-point lighting.
2. Have a 14x17 rendering of some naked guy or lady, graded on realism. Suck.
3. Be prepared for my Science of Sound final....Which is going to destroy me.
Can't wait to be out and lazing around the house or partying.
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| To tell a story. |
[07 Mar 2009|02:30am] |
For those of you who wonder, this is what I spend my time doing when I'm not drawing:
I fell upon an article that argued to worth of the JRPG style.
The backbone of this article's argument was wrapped around a simple (yet incredibly brilliant) flash game titled The Linear RPG .
The game, in short, pokes fun at the genre by breaking down the traditional RPG play-style, stripping it of all of its adornments and leaving only level-grinding and an absurd story as the game's skeleton. This is humorous. And, admittedly, true.
Now, some people love the classic JRPG formula, some people despise it.
Arguments from both sides boil down to: "This is an unfair, over-analytical, biased view of the genre." and "This is exactly why the genre sucks; it's shallow and unrewarding."
Before I get too deep into this, and what it means to me. Before I talk about my views, or mention things about story, art, and whatnot--
I say, isn't it about fun?
Shouldn't everything come down to one saying "Do I enjoy this? Is this entertaining to me?"
Shouldn't it end there?
This is a big deal to me. Not because I'm a fan, but because I'm a designer (in training). I believe the consumer should be able to enjoy whatever genre they want without feeling like they have to justify the quality of the product, no matter how obscure it is.
But it's not just that. This article helped me to realize something.
"Good RPGs are out there, great RPGS are almost extinct." And no one can argue with this.
I've always wanted to make an RPG. As a result, this bothers me.
I find myself wondering if I have the talent or vision to create something great.
LJ probably isn't the right place for this, but I figure I should share some of my thoughts about stuff I deal with, with the people who don't hear about it much.
There you go.
I'll probably write a dissertation on something closely related to this when the time comes.
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[24 Feb 2009|01:40pm] |
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Wasted three hours trying to planar map a table in object mode. Brilliant.
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[29 Jan 2009|12:29pm] |
I think it's happened again.
Please don't be afraid when you hear me speak.
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[26 Jan 2009|09:34pm] |
There was a flower.
It was beautiful.
No one picked it.
It was beautiful.
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